Minnesota vs. Everyone

A bit of silliness my mother e-mailed me:

Minnesota vs. ...Everyone

60 above zero:
Floridians turn on the heat.
People in Minnesota plant gardens.

50 above zero:
Californians shiver uncontrollably.
People in Minnesota sunbathe.

40 above zero:
Italian & English cars won't start.
People in Minnesota drive with the windows down.

20 above zero:
Floridians don coats, thermal underwear, gloves, wool hats.
People in Minnesota throw on a flannel shirt.

15 above zero:
New York landlords finally turn up the heat.
People in Minnesota have the last cookout before it gets cold.

Zero:
People in Miami all die.
Minnesotans close the windows.

10 below zero:
Californians fly away to Mexico.
People in Minnesota get out their winter coats.

25 below zero:
Hollywood disintegrates.
The Girl Scouts in Minnesota are selling cookies door to door.

40 below zero:
Washington DC runs out of hot air.
People in Minnesota let the dogs sleep indoors.

100 below zero:
Santa Claus abandons the North Pole.
Minnesotans get upset because they can't start their Hummers.

460 below zero:
ALL atomic motion stops (absolute zero on the Kelvin scale.)
People in Minnesota start saying..."Cold 'nuff fer ya?"

500 below zero:
Hell freezes over.
Minnesota public schools will open 2 hours late.

The bit about driving with the car windows down made me laugh. I routinely do this when I'm alone in the car. As a matter of fact, I think my husband started plasticking the windows in the fall to keep me from opening all the windows in the house in the middle of January because I need the fresh air. Give it an hour to get that clean/cold smell all over the house, then shut the house back up and turn the heat back on. It's back to 68 degrees by the time he gets home from work, so what's the problem? Well, the boys do freak out a bit...